My first porn mag

Being back in my hometown brings back memories.  They’re split roughly fifty-fifty, but I try to focus on the good memories.  Looking back I have noticed a number of milestones that a lot of people don’t typically consider milestones but I do.  Of course you have your first kiss, first job, prom, graduation, and all that other bullshit associated with that time of your life, but I’m more interested with things like the first time you evaded the cops or the first time you got into a fight.  Or, for us guys out there, the first time you acquired a porn mag (is it the same for you women out there?).

The parallels between a twelve year-old looking to buy his first porn mag and an adult looking to score some weed are uncanny.  You find the shadiest person you know personally and broach the subject up in a very round about fashion and hope the other person catches on.  The person you happen to know doesn’t sell the stuff himself, but he invariably knows someone who does and puts you in contact with him.  You talk to the shady dude’s even shadier friend, details are hashed out, prices negotiated, and then the goods are delivered in an undercover fashion.  It’s all very exciting.

I kinda feel bad for kids these days in this instance.  They don’t have to go through back channels to see their first naked lady posing because they can just google “boobs” and be left with enough porn to last them several lifetimes.  More than anything getting my first porn mag wasn’t so much about the magazine itself and what it meant to my life at the time, but the process of obtaining it.  Does this just mean kids need to start buying weed at the age of twelve?  You tell me.

It’s important to get outside of that comfort zone and take a fucking chance sometimes.  That is what this is all about.  I knew plenty of kids who didn’t take any chances and they were boring as hell.  Don’t be one of those people!  Go out and buy a porn mag!

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Filed under childhood, hilarious, life, sleep deprived

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