Chadwick’s the name and debauchery’s my game

Like most people I do stupid things. Many stupid things. Mostly in college. Mainly due to alcohol consumption.

Being at the wedding last week brought up fragments of many memories of the flat out stoopid stuff I did in college and how even though I’ve grown up I still do stupid and oftentimes hilarious things.

Grad School Interview
I’m not sure what other grad schools are like, but biology grad schools compete heavily for qualified applicants so they set aside large amounts of money to woo us to coming to their school. Because of this one of my interviews turned out to be rather interesting.

There were roughly nineteen applicants for this particular recruitment session (the first, they like to take the best in the first round, just tooting my own horn) plus at least twenty current grad students at a comedy show. This was an officially sanctioned event at the tail end of the two day recruitment session, so drinks were comped by the university. I thought it was the end of the night, so me and a friend ordered two full pitchers of long island iced teas. It was great. We laughed, we cried, we got drunk.

As we exited the theatre a large portion of the current grad students (~15) decided we should go to a nearby bar. I haven’t bought a thing in the past two days and I didn’t have an early flight, so I thought “sure, why not? I can afford a bar tab” Bad choice, but not for the reason you may think.

You see, this particular school told the grad students to take us out after the show and treat us to a good time. That meant a bear minimum of thirty mid-to-late twenties students at a bar on the university’s tab. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that’s how bad stories start. I kept it together for the first four or five drinks at the first bar, making friends and just generally being ridiculous, but then we went to the second bar. I remember some of what transpired next, but not all of it. I remember talking to another, very attractive applicant at a very close proximity due to the loud music (and necessary body contact), dancing was involved and I’m certainly no dancer, and there may have been some ass grabbing. Oh yeah, I forgot to add I like grabbing ass when drunk; male, female, animal, it doesn’t really matter. Next thing I remember is hailing a cab with this chick, heading back to the hotel, almost getting lost directly in front of the hotel, and then passing out on my luxurious hotel bed.

Everyone had horrible hangovers the next morning and most of us blacked out at least some part of the night (I call it time traveling) which scared the beejezus out of me because I really liked the school and wanted desperately to go there. For the next two weeks I was freaking out trying to remember past events that could have compromised my chances of getting into my dream school. Thankfully, I received the congratulatory phone call and all was good in the world.

I couldn’t have done something too stupid and still gotten in, right?

(Please note: this isn’t even close to the dumbest, most ridiculous thing I’ve done. I’m just warming you readers up.)


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Filed under crazy, grad school, hilarious, life

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